I don’t think you understand what it is, that you are saying to me.
Every time you look down justified and in excusing the lack of progress each week.
As you look into to my eyes, with confidence in continuance without his release.
You’re not talking to his wife, a victim, or even just an equal member within our society,
You’re looking in the eyes of a mother, despaired by your words,
words of which she will have to repeat.
Despite the unimaginable level at which my life has already been beat,
Every tear that leaves my eyes, is not a tear that is falling for me.
Each drop is for every thing that you are saying and giving subliminally.
My heart is aching, my soul crying out, because the punishment that you so desperately seek,
Is being exacted upon the innocent and it’s multiplied the consequences by three.
You’re subjecting three young hearts and souls to more hurt, that they really don’t need.
You’re telling three little boys that reward for their efforts, is something they will not see.
All the work in behaving well, staying positive, while waiting already so patiently;
Was all for nothing, that no one cares, about them or what they display in their feats.
You’re teaching them that being and doing both of those things;
amount to earning less than receiving reflection of simple human decency.
Showing Individual character doesn’t matter and even in enduring life living righteously;
they are destined to suffer, tempting them to more illicit forms for relief.
You’re ensuring their hearts are stricken with knowledge of this world and in its, it’s poverty.
Doing so while discrediting everything, I’ve fought their whole lives for, silently, so that they keep.
Undermining what I’ve nurtured for reference, when they’re in choice of who they should be.
You’re removing their trust in compassion, love, hope, and hard work and offered within those, their securities.
You’re replacing what you take with darkness, and instead of potential, you fill it with loss and depravity.
You’re influencing the idea that their life is beyond their own control and personal capabilities.
Depriving them from learning how they have the power within any circumstance, to expel darkness, prohibiting knowledge that filling light is always within their reach.
Every frustration and bit of anger that you’re feeling from me;
is because you’re asking me to hide the blow you just planted on my cheek.
To take the blame for the punitive abuse, judged justified by you as in need.
You’re showing my sons, that the way that they should grow up and who they should come to be,
Is everything you said it looked like when you said it was their dad doing the exact same things.
So don’t take my demeanor as disrespect and definitely not as vulnerability.
I just don’t think you understand what it is, that you are saying to me.