Schooled by a Kinder(gartner)


Every day I attempt to teach my son, and every day I remember that it’s my son whose teaching me.

Connor, Ry, and I were discussing genies this morning.
More specifically what we would do if we had 3 magical wishes.

Connors list was pretty great:

  • He’d wish for internet to be everywhere and all of the time,
  • Enough money to buy any game that he and his brothers ever want,
  • Asher to be bigger so he could play too. (but not too much bigger because we all agreed he has to stay our baby.)
  • Everyone happiness
  • and to never run out of Chicken Bites.

He went on to include more desires of things he wants or wants to give, mostly to his brother, but in the midst of everything else, between joking requests and some “you’d better be listening” (almost) demands, I heard his little voice say:

“I would wish everyone to know ‘their’ beautiful.”

The sentence stuck out amongst the giggles and playful banter even as Ryland antagonized the situation as he: “would wish for,” a mischievous grin crept across his face with satisfaction that only a boy can display regarding his upcoming wish of “poop.” Giggles turned into hysterical laughing that even Asher joined in on. But Connors not out of the ordinary for him sentence was still on repeat I my mind. It struck me because of the way he said it, it was worded incorrectly and he pronounced the wrong derivation of they’re.

In an attempt to allow him to teach himself, I questioned what he had said, it took a couple tries but he found it, through the funnier thoughts he’d just had, and reiterated the one I was looking for. I then questioned who did he want to know? Given my assumption that his intention was to say they are beautiful; I was hoping that personalizing the people he found beautiful would focus his thought enough to create an easy, relatable correlation to the nature in definition of the word, helping him choose the proper variation next time.

But, and I don’t even know why this surprises me anymore, Connor was not up for my lesson. He had one of his own.

“Who is it, that you think needs to know that they’re beautiful?


“Okay, but who were you thinking about that made you wish that just now?”

“ I don’t know, everyone.”

Hmm.. this isn’t going anywhere; maybe I could decipher who encouraged the thought and we could reflect from there..

“what is it that was beautiful that they didn’t know?”                                                           herein lies the first part of his lesson for me:

“When they are nice, when they give me a hug, what they do that makes everyone laugh, when they make Asher smile, when Ryland gets to come with me everywhere..” and he went on from there.

My heart lit up, that little boy sure knows how to be beautiful to his momma.

Even if I was jealous that he looked a lot like his dad when he was saying it.

I couldn’t waste the lesson though, being still confused by the sentence structure and because I’m me even in the face of that kind of cuteness, had to ask again;

“Who made you feel that way? who do want to know those things?”

“Everyone.” Again.

So I improv-ed the lesson,

“Connor, that’s a pretty important thing and quite a lot of people.” I counted off our family members to exemplify the amount.

“Don’t you think that it’d be easier if they all knew that they are beautiful?”

“But they don’t, mom, and they aren’t.”

I did’t know where to go from there, my five seconds ago sweet, endearing child turned into a giant question mark;

“What are you talking about now crazy kid????”

The Question mark explained the second half of his lesson:

“Some people have to find their beautiful, mom. I wish they would just know it.”

So humbly profound, and almost a little angry.

There I was, there is my contributing characteristic in his gene pool. Compassionate and openly irked at the lack thereof. mhmmm.

So, the overall lesson from Connors school of life:

  • Everyone has the power to be beautiful, but even he’s noticed the lack of intent in harnessing it.
  • Being beautiful has little to do with physical appearance and everything to do with spiritual presence.
  • Until you work to find it, specifically and personally, to make beautiful what is inside of you, you will never become it for others to see.
  • and that his mom needs to listen more with who her child is, in mind, rather than what words he’s using to say it

Everyone is beautiful, but it needs to be sought, cultivated, and gracefully grown into our souls so personally that we come to know it as how we know ourselves. Only then will our physical appearance match and at that point; we’ll shine so brightly that it will chase away any superficial opinion of what beauty is from our minds as quickly as light expels  darkness.

Thanks Aladdin, for the topic of conversation, and thank you, Connor, for reminding me of the important things when even I forget why their important.

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